Who We Are vs Who We Want to Be...

I was just thinking to myself about life...

I was thinking about being an American male and thinking about what that means...

I was thinking about perception, and thinking about who we are vs who we want to be...or moreso who we want to be seen as to others-whether they be loved ones, family or perfect strangers. I was thinking about how comfortable we as people may or may not be with ourselves, and how...as much as we may want to be excepted, liked and appreciated for who we are as individuals, we may not really want anyone to really know who we are. Maybe...maybe because we don't really know who we really are ourselves. Maybe we don't want to accept that we're fragile, silly, emotional, funny or whatever else that makes us..."us". Maybe we don't want the drama of perception vs reality, or we don't want people to ask questions or make assumptions about who we are really. Or maybe we just want to keep the stories of ourselves a private diary of sorts...tucking away the good parts for a limited amount of exposure...

I don't know...I was just thinking about myself and thinking about what I say and do in this modern world of mine and thinking about what I do let be known about who I am. Do I want people to think I'm full of bravado and pimpery or do I tell all of my sob stories, or do I want to seem wise and enlightened yet very humble and open...

Things like this I view as lessons along the road to understanding one's self. Moreso, I see them as a chance to connect to being human. I guess all of it is just funny in a sense, because at the end of the day what does it matter? We will always be who we are who we are no matter who we want to be. Maybe if we could find the balance between what we know and what we think we see in ourselves...well...if we learned to love ourselves regardless of who we were we wouldn't worry about who we wanted to be...because we'd already be there.

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